We Need a Vast Left-Wing Conspiracy

Here's my version of the 'where do we go from here' essay.

Listening to Ira Glass's interviews with undecided voters in red states on This American Life gave me an idea. Due to months and months of attack ads, negative impressions of Bush's opponent were so widespread, and so reflexive, that they became like breathing. Many people thought of Kerry -- without realizing where the impression came from -- as at once "the most liberal Democrat in the Senate" (far from true), and a terrible flip-flopping, bin-Laden loving Frenchman with ketchup in his veins instead of Bush's blue blood.

Kerry's considerable advantages, as well as Bush's serious deficiencies, were completely nullified by the targeted sliming of Kerry for so long and in such a widespread way.

So for next time, I nominate the creation of a dummy candidate to draw Republican fire. What he'll do: first, break publicly with the Democratic party -- on live TV, during the primary debates. He'll be a populist, gun-toting, anti-Seinfeldian hero. He'll be rigorously anti-outsourcing and pro-American labor. Maybe he's also a soft libertarian ("I believe people should be able to smoke in bars, have as many rifles as they want, and marry whoever they damn well please"). He's in favor of "bringing every one of our boys home on January 23, 2009."

I'm not thinking Howard Dean, I'm thinking Jesse Ventura.

He immediately becomes wildly popular, third in the polls, and only a little behind the Democratic candidate. He draws equally from Republican and Democratic bases. The Dems, with Hilary Clinton as their sanest option, seem to despair. The Republican candidate John McCain -- who is using Karl Rove as his chief election advisor -- is extremely worried. The Republicans don't know how to attack someone like this. John McCain's own history as a "straight-talker" and a "maverick" are by 2008 distant memories, as 8 years of smiling next to Bush on camera have taken their toll.

Still, once our sneaky third-party candidate gets above 30% in the polls (and passes Hilary) the attack ads fly. And the attack ads against Hilary, who is seen as less of a threat, do not. By October, our independent candidate seems to be running a bit ragged, after being attacked for his 1982 DUI, his Vietnam draft-dodging, his two divorces, and his hunting accident (to add a little spice). His supporters, somehow, cannot shake the negative impressions created by the McCain team, despite the fact that Bush too had a DUI hiding somewhere, and a very shabby service record of his own. John McCain, of course, is a decorated war hero.

When the scandal of Bush's steamy affair with Karen Hughes breaks (it took place in the summer of 2001, in Crawford! phone transcripts on Smokinggun.com!) in the middle of the spring of 2008, neither the dems nor our independent candidate can find a way to make damage from the allegations stick. After all, "John McCain is not George Bush."

And then... and then... 20 days before the elections in 2008, our mystery candidate disappears. To be exact, he appears at a press-conference blind drunk to announce his immediate withdrawal from the race. He puts a rant on his website against politics, where he scorns the very idea of ever holding public office. And he heaps scorn on his main opponent, John McCain, and especially the Republican party. The language is extremely over-the-top; the document soon becomes a cultural monument. College students print it out and post it on dorm room walls. People at "water coolers" recite the most damning phrases incredulously, jokingly. But over time, they set in.

Then our dummy candidate, his service completed, flies in a jet furnished by MoveOn PAC to a small Caribbean island owned by Joe Trippi (now an internet billionaire), where he lives happily ever after. His name gets pulled off voter rolls.

The McCain team, shocked and exhausted, has no time to redirect its energies.

Hilary Clinton, who suddenly seems like an angel sent from heaven, wins the election in a landslide, bringing a democratic congress with her.

Republicans, distraught, worry for the future of their party.

RocketPost Test

Courtesy of Manish, I’m testing a beta of RocketPost, which is fully compatible with Blogger — minus the infuriating flakiness!!!!

Women's Review of Books

URL: WROB (from The Reading Experience)

Nice reviews of the new Judith Butler reader, a review of a recently published book by H.D.'s friend Bryher, as well as reviews of Gish Jen and Cynthia Ozick.

BitTorrent taking over the Internets

AP/Yahoo reports that 35% of all internet traffic right now is BitTorrent traffic!

That's a very high number, especially given that the technology has only been around for under a year (I myself only started hearing about it about six months ago). Still, it seems pretty likely that Hollywood and the RIAA will soon be sueing the makers of the various Torrent clients (like Suprnova). Will they also be able to sue people who participate in offering torrents?

This article is also useful because it points to some legal uses for BitTorrents:

-- Legal Torrents (http://www.legaltorrents.com/), which includes a wide selection of electronic music. It also has the Wired Magazine Creative Commons CD, which has songs from artists like the Beastie Boys who agreed to release some of their songs under a more permissive copyright that allows free distribution and remixing.

-- Torrentocracy (http://torrentocracy.com/torrents/) has videos of the U.S. presidential debates and other political materials.

-- File Soup (http://www.filesoup.com) offers open-source software and freeware, music from artists whose labels don't belong to the Recording Industry Association of America trade group, and programs from public television stations like PBS or the BBC.

-- Etree (http://bt.etree.org) is for devotees of "trade-friendly" bands like Phish and the Dead, who encourage fans to share live recordings, usually in the form of large files that have been minimally compressed to maintain sound quality.

(Side note: In all of these debates, I often wonder about when and whether Indian record companies and the Bombay film industry will start to take comparable legal action. Most Indians I know in the 18-30 age bracket are regular P2P downloaders. And if the level of activity on sites like Desitorrents is any indication, they are rapidly picking up on this latest -- and most efficient -- method of piracy as well.)

Arafat's legacy: pros and cons

A balanced accounting of Arafat's legacy in Slate.

On the one hand, he had good reasons for turning down the 2000 Camp David deal engineered by Clinton. And, contrary to what some right-wing politicians would have us believe, he is not a "terrorist."

On the other hand, his relationship with the Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigade is murky, and troubling. This Slate piece has lots of helpful links.

ALSO: the next big controversy will probably be over whether Israel accedes to his wish that he be buried at the Al-Aqsa mosque.

UPDATE: Moorish Girl has a nice timeline on him. Also see the picture of the studly Arafat from the 1970s.

No wedding food for you! And: the Freedom to be Frivolous

BBC says the Pakistani courts have reviewed and upheld a ban on food at weddings, on the grounds that it is anti-Islamic. Well, to be more exact:

The court ruled the ban was not against Islamic teachings and should remain in force as it discourages extravagant displays of wealth. The ban on serving food at wedding functions held in public places was imposed by the government in 1997. In practice, it is largely ignored as technically it only permits the serving of tea or soft drinks.

To be fair, they have a point that South Asians put an inordinate amount of money into weddings. But banning food "for your own good" seems like a parody of totalitarian thinking.

(A little like starting preemptive wars to "spread democracy.")

For Pakistan's Supreme Court, it's all part of de-Hinduization:

The Supreme Court also described the practice of giving dowry by the bride's family as an evil and exploitative custom, and said the state should do everything to stop it.

The court bench then went a step further to criticise some of the most popular customs linked to South Asian weddings, including the colourful rituals of mayun and mehndi (where the bride is decorated and prepared for the wedding) and baraat (a procession by the groom's friends and family to the bride's house), which are dominated by dance and music.

The bench said these customs and even the giving of large dowries were all of Hindu origin and have nothing to do with the Islamic concept of marriage.

I'm with them on Dowry. But Baraat? Mehndi? These are fun customs; people should be allowed to practice them if they want to. Pakistan is perilously close to banning enjoyment itself because of its possible contamination by Hindu "culture."

Maybe they get rid of some rubbish in the process of making all these restrictions. Wedding culture is sometimes pretty frivolous. For instance, it's a little ridic. to dance for six hours on the street celebrating the marriage of a distant cousin one (sometimes) barely knows, who is sitting uncomfortably on a horse, while a band of profoundly underpaid horn-players tries to do a very un-funky version of "Koi Kahe Kehta Rahe."

But what else is freedom but the right to be as frivolous as one wants?

Thomas Frank is everywhere again

Thomas Frank, author (most recently) of What's the Matter With Kansas?, is suddenly everywhere. Both Daniel Drezner and Tim Burke have picked up on Frank's arguments (albeit still critically) on what ails the Democratic party in the past couple of days.

And Thomas Frank also has an Op-Ed in the Times today.

Solace in Bollywood: Mini-Reviews of Recent Film Soundtracks

1. Some of the Hindi top-ten box office film titles this week:

Dil Bechaara Pyaar Ka Maara (Kill the Wretched Heart With Love)
Popcorn Khao Mast Ho Jao (Eat Popcorn, have fun)
Let's Enjoy
Dance Like a Man

Fun titles. I particularly like "Dance Like a Man." What does that mean?!

Unfortunately none of these films is likely to be watchable, unless you fast-forward just to see what people are wearing in different scenes.

2. Soundtrack to Dhoom, which has a pronounced hip hop vibe, especially "Dhoom Machale," "Tata Young," and "Shikdum (The Bedroom Mix)". I'll be DJing another Desi party in New Haven on November 19, and songs off this soundtrack are sure to feature in my set.

3. Soundtrack to Veer-Zaara: actually not that great. This film -- a cross border (India/Pakistan Hindu/Muslim) love story -- is getting heavily promoted in the Indian media. Bollywood is hoping for a big Diwali-season hit (Diwali is next week!).

These songs, let us say, do not add much to the ticket. The one bright point is "Lodi," which is a traditional/Punjabi type of song.

4. Soundtrack to Swades. A.R. Rahman is back. This soundtrack is perhaps not quite up to greats like Taal or Dil Se..., but it has some beautiful melodies, nice ideas, and "uplifting" patriotism. If you're in an Indian grocery store, pick this up for sure.

5. Soundtrack to Bride and Prejudice. This adaptation of the Jane Austen classic has kind of flopped in India, and not done particularly well in England (something to do with Aishwariya Rai's acting...). Though my expectations are not very high, I'll still be in line on the opening day of its U.S. release to see it -- mainly out of loyalty to Gurinder Chadha. The soundtrack is just ok; I'm enjoying "Balle Balle (Punjabi Wedding Song)," "Dola Dola," and "Payal Bajake." The standout (in a way) is "No Life Without Wife": musically, it's a disaster, but the Hindi lyrics are amusing.

Interestingly, both Dhoom and Bride and Prejudice are using a new 'fusion' strategy. "Payal Bajake" and "Take me to India" on the B&P soundtrack have the same beat and melody, but "Take me to India" is partially in English. Similarly, on Dhoom, "Dhoom Machale" and "Tata Young" have the same beat. "Tata Young" is partly in English.

Maybe they are trying to anticipate the demand for "English" (read: UK/rap) remixes of Hindi songs? Or: maybe the producers are just recycling.

Laying Low

I've temporarily lost my taste for political analysis. So no big opinions to offer.

And I've also been completely (absurdly) swamped with work this week, so it's not like I have time to write down the thoughts that have been percolating.

I had a nice conversation with a small number of very subdued Swarthmore students yesterday about the role of women in the debate over secularism in India. Despite the fact that no one was much inclined to ponder the Uniform Civil Code, working on a totally unrelated subject for a couple of hours was good. They raised some objections that I think I need to consider more closely in my project... And I also came across some interesting/useful websites while preparing for the talk, so maybe there'll be a redacted form of my talk yesterday on the blog soon.

It was also nice to see Tim after a while, and also meet the rest of the Easily Distracted clan. (Tim, you should seriously think of marketing the "Chicken Busters" idea to Hollywood, or maybe Andy Warhol's estate.)

Incidentally, for one of the only compellingly soul-searching, left-leaning analyses of the mess we're in post-election, see Tim's latest.

Long lines = injustice

So I voted in CT where I live this morning, then drove to Pennsylvania -- the swing state where I actually spend most of my time during the semester. Everything went fine. I even remembered to bring a passport, in case anyone there wanted to challenge my right to be there (it wasn't a problem).

But this afternoon I spoke to two people (in Pennsylvania) who went to vote and found the line so long they had to leave before they got to pull the lever. They're both employees of Lehigh's food service, and a) have such long shifts that they'll miss the evening voting hours and b) can't get their bosses to let them come in a little late.

You see the class issues here. A lot of people work in jobs where they can't be late because they wanted to vote; they'll be fired. The same people often live in the areas of highest population density, which are also the areas that are most dependent on social and governmental services that the Republicans like to cut. And needless to say, on a day like today, those are also the areas with the longest lines to vote.

It's a vicious cycle.

[UPDATE: I'm told that it's against the law for employers to punish or fire employees who take time off to vote. I've also been given this link, with state-by-state provisions for 'time off to vote.' Notably, Pennsylvania doesn't have a law on the books on this subject.]

Election night dilemma

Am I the only one wondering what to do tomorrow night? I've been invited to an "election results party," but I'm thinking of skipping, because I might be too tense to enjoy the company of others. And since I started blogging -- and reading RSS feeds of blogs as well as official news feeds -- I am usually brimming with an insane amount of current political information (too much reading of realclearpolitics.com, slate.com, dailykos,com...). In the quiet of Bethlehem, PA, detailed knowledge about the demographic shifts in Ohio, security problems in the software that many states are using for electronic voting (Diebold), the surprise disaffection with Bush in the suburban counties around Dallas ... well, it comes across as pretty wonky.

The latest election gossip is that Kerry might be in trouble in Pennsylvania after all, but some polls are suddenly giving him an advantage in Florida! And also -- the early voters in Iowa are voting overwhelmingly (60-40) for Kerry, so much so that the Iowa polls (which have favored Bush slightly in recent days) might end up being irrelevant. And then there's Ohio, which has been leaning Kerry, and Wisconsin, which Slate keeps calling for Kerry despite the presence of numerous polls with Bush on top! And Minnesota... Michigan... New Hampshire...

Aside from the election results party jitters, my biggest concern is that the evening will go on and on. The networks will be so cautious calling close races for either candidate that (unless there are some big surprises), no clear picture will probably emerge about anything until Wednesday. So Tuesday night might just turn out to be a long, stressful night with lots of Jeff Greenfield pontificating, and no resolution. Perhaps better just to turn the TV off and try and think about something else.

I have a talk to give at Swarthmore College on Wednesday afternoon (topic: "Women's Rights in India: Issues of Law and Religion"), so maybe I'll just spend the night in my office with strictly timed/limited internet checks (2 minutes online/every half hour).

Bollywood Terror Masala Election Video

Shashwati has put together an ironic/subversive Bollywood collage, and posted it directly on her website as a quicktime movie.

It's so surreal, it might just work.

Republicans against Bush

This column in the Nation has been making the rounds. It has a sitting senator from Rhode Island (Lincoln Chafee), the former governor of Minnesota (Elmer Anderson), and many others. All are Republicans who have turned against Bush, mainly on the issue of Iraq.

Dalrymple reviews Pankaj Mishra's New Book on Buddha

William Dalrymple, heroic historian of British/Mughal India, gives a generally positive review to Pankaj Mishra's new book on Buddhism in Outlook India. Mishra's book is called An End to Suffering is The Buddha in the World, and it seems to be about anything and everything under the subcontinental sun:

The book covers an intimidatingly wide sweep of territory and moves rapidly from the period of the Vedas to that of the Enlightenment, then onto to the world of Osama bin Laden, stopping en route in the company of such diverse figures as Mahavira, Hieun Tsang, Hobbes, Nietzsche, Marx, Schopenhauer, Borges, Sayyid Qutb, Swami Vivekananda, various Buddhist missionaries and a mixed bag of Naga sadhus and gun-wielding Islamists.

Such overwhelming breadth doesn't make me want to run out and buy the book. If I want to read about Hobbes or Schopenhauer, I am probably not looking for it in a book on Buddhism.

But passages like the following, which is from Mishra himself, do pique my curiosity:

"Like the Beats and hippies of a recent era, people left their homes and professions, dissatisfied with their regimented lives of work, and moved from one sramana sect to another. The men who led them were India’s first cosmopolitan thinkers, unhindered by caste boundaries or other parochial considerations, who became aware that human beings are united by certain shared dilemmas.These early dissenters...began the process, which the Buddha advanced greatly, of taking Indian thought from the speculative—the Vedas and Upanishads—to the ethical level."

Mishra's take on the early Buddhists seems to resemble a little my general sense of the Bhakti movement.

Small hybridity cuisine point: Pao-Bhaji + Pasta

Anyone out there ever tried Pao-Bhaji with pasta? I'm having leftover Pao-Bhaji (sometimes spelled Pav-Bhaji) with whole wheat pasta for lunch today, and it's delightful. Pao-Bhaji is normally eaten with bread rolls, but sometimes (as now) rolls are not available.

In case you have no idea what Pao-Bhaji is, go here. Butter can probably be substituted for ghee.

(I also need to credit the person who made the Pao-Bhaji to begin with... she knows who she is)